Narcissist Manipulation Tactic: Diverting into Absurdity

 Hello, my lovely subscribers, and welcome to all who are new!

 Today I’ll be talking about a tactic I like to call ‘Diverting into absurdity’ – but you may have heard of it as ‘slippery slope.’

 This is absolutely infuriating, and one of my least favorite deflection/manipulation tactics up their toxic sleeve.

 Okay, so we know narcissists want to establish and maintain control in their relationships.

 They HATE being challenged, confronted or any kind of differing opinion. When a narcissist catches a whiff of these things, they become highly defensive. Which makes you the offensive one orchestrating a personal attack (crazy, I know).

 So they must neutralize you. And your opinions, thoughts, feelings and experiences. An effective way to do this? Blast your words (and point) out west. Into absurdity or an extremely hypothetical situation.

 Here are some examples:

 You: Please could you remember to wash up the frying pan after you’ve used it?

Them: So I guess I’m impossible to live with. I don’t deserve to be part of this household then.

Like, Uh, wow. That wasn’t what you said at all. Blown way out of proportion.

 Here’s another example:

You: When you belittle me, I feel really hurt.

Them: Oh, so I’m a terrible person, and you're just perfect, right?

 Or:

 You: I think it will be better if we do it this way?

Them: Oh the genius hath spoken! All bow down to the Goddess of interior design. Let’s hang off her every word!

 You see why I call it ‘diver?’ Because they take your thoughts and feelings and run with it. Run as far away from the point as they can - into absurdity. When fundamentally, all you’ve tried to do is express yourself and have a frank conversation.

 One more example, which is also one to be on the lookout for. This rebuttal from the narcissist is designed to appeal to fear. Taking a small problem and predicting that it'll lead to a series of worst-case scenarios events.

 You: Can you fold the laundry?

Them: If I do this for you, you’ll think you can get whatever you want from me. I’ll become your slave and have no life because I’ll be doing YOUR housework all day.

 See what they did? Use an extreme hypothetical to distract from a reasonable ask.

 Why do they do it?

1. Deflection. Narcissists hate confrontation or conflict. So they deflect away to the arse end of nowhere, where you’ll struggle to claw your point back and eventually, give up.

2. Guilt. Making you feel guilty for having boundaries. They hate personal space and feel entitled to everything.

3. Make you sound irrational, immature, or irrelevant. Discrediting your ideas leads you to think you’re stupid, which will chip away at your confidence. 

4. Blameshifting. Guess what? You’re now the problem. So long as you let them digress from the point, they have successfully starved you from giving any kind of realistic feedback.

Okay so we know the what and why. But how do you counter this infuriating tactic? 

1. DO NOT (I repeat) DO NOT follow their lead. Remember narcissists want the upper hand and to trigger you into getting angry and acting a fool. You do this, they’ve won. Then they can personally attack you.

2. So, stand on your point ten-toes. Stick to the subject by reasoning ‘That’s not what I said.’ Make simple clarifications along the way to prevent the narrative from going wayward.

3. Never justify or explain your emotions, that’s a losing battle and something the narcissist definitely doesn’t care about.

4. Touch on what you expect from an adult conversation. Logic, common sense, respect, responsibility. When you’re on the same page, proceed.